I try to keep things pretty light most of the time. But this is a topic that I have thought about for quite some time now. It's uncomfortable and emotional for me. But, I'm going to try my best to make myself clear so that what I'm saying is taken to be as it's intended - from a loving and protective place.
It's the slang use of the word "retarded" or "retard".
Even writing this gives me anxiety. Not just so much because of the word, but because I'm a tad bit uncomfortable having to broach the subject. Writing this is my passive-aggressive way of talking about it without making it an uncomfortable face to face encounter.
Sometimes, I'm a bit resentful about the fact that I feel a need to tell people it's offensive. I don't want to come across as judgemental or overly sensitive. But I do want to be clear that I feel it's not acceptable. Words are powerful. They can make us feel protected and nurtured when used lovingly, they can make us feel vulnerable and damaged when used carelessly.
It just truly hurts my heart, knowing that this word makes reference to a child that I so completely love with every part of me, a word that is never endearing.
I think about this every time I hear the word casually thrown around. And I'm really trying not to react as an overly sensitive mom. I know that mostly people are not trying to be cruel, particularly our friends and family, they're just not thinking about it. Sadly, this had been a habit of mine and my husband's before Gabriel joined our family. But I do think about how my children will feel when they hear it. Will they know that it references their beloved sibling? Will he know and understand it references him?
I'm hoping that by writing this, our friends and family will not only stop saying this word around our family, but will discontinue it's use entirely.
