glass is half full

I'd like to pretend that I'm an optimist - a silver-lining type - but I'm afraid that is just not so. I want to be, and some days I genuinely am. Those days are few and far between, and I envy those that seemingly have the effortless cheerful thing down pat.

I've been thinking about New Year's resolutions/goal-making more this year than ever before. There's a laundry list of items to improve myself (and my outlook). Sometimes, the pessimist in me gets so caught up with my laundry list, that I forget how great I've got it. Then, something will happen, and I'll think "Wow! Look at what you've got here!" They are not spectacular happenings, but they're a splendid reminder. How ungrateful would I be to not feel blessed by them?

So, I thought I'd list some of the recent events that have made a momentary optimist out of me:

• Listening to Paige's night time prayers while she blesses that "our team" might win the war and come home safely.
• Hearing Taylor's talent of using and mimicking different accents. British, Australian, Indian, you name it. Neither Todd or I posses such an ability. It's hilarious and I laugh every time.
• Watching Gabriel leave for school on the bus. Each time I stand out and wave to him as the bus whisks him away - he sits up as tall as he can, and smiles as broadly as possible. I could almost bust each. and. every. time. I wish everyone who knew him could see it just once.
• Watching my kids spontaneously play together without conflict.
• See Taylor tenderly look after a hurt young cousin.
• Watching Gabriel chase down every being (human or dog) in sight just to give them a hug or high-five.
• Just one of my goals I will share is to set my alarm in the morning and actually get up. This is not easy for me or anyone else in our household as I may very well hold the title for morning grump. Todd (who wakes up irritatingly cheerful and perky) has gone the extra mile to set the ipod to wake us up to the likes of "Good Mornin'" [from Singin' in the Rain], "You are my Sunshine" and "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" [both by Ray Charles], and "It's a Beautiful Day" [U2]. His efforts have yet to wake me from my deep slumber with a smile and a heel-click, but I will hesitantly admit to it making a difference in my morning.

These are just the ones I could immediately recall {and I have a terrible memory}. Lucky, right? I look forward to this year over-flowing with moments where I can see my glass half-full.

i am thankful

for getting called-out by my kids.

Now, this is not something I would usually be ecstatic about, but this one time I'll make an exception.

This year, we've had our share of tight pocketbooks. Really tight. While it is not much fun, we've learned to do without the excess we're accustomed to and simplify a bit. At times, it feels freeing to not want want want all the time, and realize that our real needs are still being met. We've talked to our kids about wants and needs and they've been very cooperative and matter of fact about it. They can be great. :)

We're now trying to get our Christmas shopping done. Todd and I split up for round 1 and he headed to Costco to take a look. As we were unloading the loot, Todd pulled out a few items not on the list that he knew I'd been eyeing for a while. Taylor observed as Todd was showing me the extra items. Taylor asked what Todd had bought them for. When Todd's response was, "Because Mommy has always wanted one," Taylor demanded "Is that a WANT or a NEED?"

Point taken. Items will be returned today. Thanks for the reminder.

school days

Lately, Gabriel's been on the go. Last week, on his day off, he fell asleep watching t.v. - before lunch even.

Three afternoons a week, he gets on the bus and goes to school. This school is primarily made up of kids with delays. I love this school and all the teachers, they're fantastic. Two of these days Gabriel also spends the mornings at a neighborhood pre-school. I felt it was important that Gabriel also spend some time with his typical peers - he learns so much just by watching. On these two days, I pick him up from the neighborhood school, we have just enough time to eat lunch, and then we head outside and wait for the bus. It's a 9 to 4 day, people!

I worry that it's too much (he's only a pre-schooler after all), but he's getting through with ease. It's probably due to the fact that a) he's having so dang much fun and b) he is so loved by each and every one of his teachers and he knows it!

This is year two at the special pre-school with the same teacher. I can't stop in without hearing that someone wants to take him home. The neighborhood school has been equally loving and accepting. I was hesitant to ask the teachers if they would take him into their class. But not only did they accept him, they've responded only with enthusiasm. Seriously, how did we get so lucky? His teacher repeatedly tells me he's the highlight of her day - and the other teacher called the other night, just to tell me something cute he did in class!

How grateful I am for all these loving women who have the gift of teaching little children.

it takes a village

Today is the last day of school. I'm having flashbacks now to the end of summer last year. Not pretty. After a summer's worth of swimming, swim team, the lake everyone just grumbled about being bored. It's enough to make a mama crazy. I'll just try to put on a brave face anyway.

Taylor and Paige were sent off for their last day with "wacky hair" and teacher treats. They were excited about end of the year festivities. Taylor's big concern was hoping that it didn't rain today, because "it just wouldn't be right to not have recess the last day of school".

Gabriel was sent off with a tiny tummy ache and his teacher treats. The thing about treats for his teachers, is that there are 10 of them. Yes, TEN. 1 bus driver + 1 helper in the am, 1 classroom teacher + 2 helpers, 1 speech therapist, 1 occupational therapist, 1 physical therapist, 1 bus driver + 1 helper in the pm. The best part about it, is that I love all of them!

Sending Gabriel to school was no small thing. For me, that is. He had just barely turned 3 and seemed so little, didn't communicate, and rarely was he away from his mama. The first couple days were rough. Again, for me. I cried and cried the first day. He adjusted quickly. When he started taking the bus, I followed it to school - just in case - and he rode it like a champ. Oh, my baby!

His teachers are amazing. Whenever I see any one of them, they always express their love for my darling boy. They get excited about progress he is making. I know he is loved when I send him off to school. I sometimes worry about how the world will treat him, but for now, I don't have to. And it is appreciated more than I'll ever be able to express.

jailbreak

Tonight my friend and I went down to the church for a quick meeting. Todd wasn't home so we left all 5 of our kids in the care of her husband. We were out for 15 minutes.

We came home to find the cops and a random guy blocking the driveway so I parked across the street. As we were heading in the cops followed and my friend asked if they needed anything.

It seems that a small child had been seen wandering the streets. Alone. It was dark. The random guy had seen the small child go into this house.

What the..??!!

Only slightly alarmed, we said "Oh, no, I don't think it was one of ours, we've been gone 5 seconds, they're being supervised by an adult...." We head inside calling for the children and the M.I.A. husband. Then we scoured the house counting heads. All 5 accounted for, each promising that they had not gone outside, nor seen anyone else go outside. Just as I picked Gabriel up and came out of the back room, the police were describing the child as wearing one piece jammies around 3 years old - they glanced at Gabriel wearing the footed jammies and knew he was the culprit. Pan over to a sheepish, embarrassed husband.

There really was nothing more to be done. The 2 Sherlock's had solved the mystery and were satisfied we mothers had not left our children alone. I felt obligated to add, "That's what happens when you put the guy in charge."

So, in putting the pieces together, it seems that Gabriel slipped out the front door (unlocked - that's our fault) completely unnoticed by 5 other people. He wandered down the middle of the road, looked around a bit - made it to the corner (which is not too far from a major busy street) - random guy noticed and called the police. Gabriel then turned around and headed back, chose the right house and slipped back in completely unnoticed by 5 people.

The bummer deal for friend's husband is that if the cops hadn't been called no one would have ever been the wiser to his debate watching neglect. I'm not upset with him, I've lost their kid before (that's another story).

It's easy to not freak out when you already know that everything turns out fine in the end. But I have spent the last hour going over "what could haves" in my mind.

I think that someone was looking out for our Gabriel. And I am grateful.

catch up

This week has been crazy busy with all the loose-ends kind of things that come just before Christmas. I've been cleaning like a mad-woman all week, which is just insane to be doing right before the kids are out of school for 2 weeks. And it's still not done. It's impossible to ever be done when I have a demolition crew following right behind me. Todd's been working feverishly with his step-dad Don (who is always too willing to lend his expertise and help) fixing his dune buggy and a mini-chopper --- great for the dune buggy, but I haven't gotten much accomplished with the kids hanging around. Yesterday Taylor even was laying on the floor, nearly in tears, complaining about his boredom. Unfortunately, I was lacking in patience and would not go back on my 'no more tv or video games' policy, therefore he wallowed in sadness. It wasn't until I threatened him with a nap that he went outside to ride his bike. I'm the meanest mom ever.

Our week started off with Scrooge. No, not me. Todd and I took Taylor and Paige to see the play 'The Christmas Carol'. I was worried that a play would be boring for the little ones, but they both loved it! Paige sat on my lap and was quite inquisitive the whole time asking all kinds of questions. Although she was tired before the play even began, she was alert and interested until the very end.

We attended the Shumway family annual Christmas party as well. There wasn't quite as many of us this year for one reason or another, but it was still nice. There was good food (of course) and good company and we sang our traditional Christmas carols which gave me a good helping of Christmas spirit.

Mara again had a get together for our kids. She made dinner and the kids played and it went well. Everyone got along and Amber (our surrogate sister) read a Christmas story and the kids all listened as well as they could. Afterwards, Faith and I went on a hunt for some good Christmas lights to continue the mood.

Gabriel and Paige are sick - AGAIN. At least this time it's not the stomach flu. Paige came down with a high fever and she's GRUMPY! Gabriel's nose won't stop running and has goopie eyes. I'm not feeling 100% today either, but as usual I'm going to ignore that. All week I've felt zapped of all energy and feel like I just can't get enough sleep to make me happy. That could mean 1 of 2 things: 1- I'm sick 2- too much chocolate!! Most likely it's a combination of both. Right now I'm at the point that I don't even want to look at chocolate - that should be an indication of just how much I have actually consumed!

Today, though, sick kids and all, we went to church. We only went for the first hour, to hear the Christmas program and then I came home so my sickies could nap (they have yet to actually slumber). I'm glad we went. There was such a nice spirit there as they talked and sang about our Savior's birth. My kids all sat nicely and Gabriel only escaped under the benches twice (Last week he ended up on the bishop's lap during the prayer). After a rough morning with an impatient mommy, it was good to feel some peace and love for our precious little family. Gabriel contentedly sat on Daddy's lap and Todd softly whispered songs into his ear, and my heart was full.

gratitude

I am grateful for washable markers.

Gabriel found some markers and decided to liven up the hallway with his mad coloring skills.

(We still have some of Paige's most precious artwork left on the walls in her room - obviously NOT done with washable markers.)

Who..., me?

On the bright side, though, it appears he's finally showing an interest in coloring.

buddy walk

Saturday was the annual Buddy Walk. This is the 4th one that our family has attended. It seemed like there were so many more people there this year than the last time I went and it was fabulous. It's nice to be among so many people who also know and love someone with Down syndrome.

Those that came to walk with us were Faith's family, our friends the Williams, and Austin & Amber (cousins). We appreciate more than I can put into words those that support us and Gabriel, whether it be by coming to the walk or donating online through our team "Gabriel's Gang".

This year Gabriel did most of his own walking. When he decided he'd done enough, he just stood in front of me and stopped so I could pick him up. Of course, they call it a "walk", but it's really more of a very...slow... stroll. Many people have posters or banners and have matching t-shirts for their whole team. Each year I have a new resolve to get together a big team and have really great matching t-shirts. As usual, next year is THE year!.... so plan accordingly. :)

The first year we went, Gabriel was just shy of 2 months old and I remember being apprehensive about seeing all the children and teens there with Down syndrome. This world with disabilities was still so new and I'm not sure I was completely over being a tad bit sad about our future that held so much of the unknown. In contrast, this year those faces with Down syndrome didn't seem so different to me and so obvious. I saw only beautiful children being celebrated and having a great time with people who love them. I guess that's what having a Buddy Walk is all about.

There were many activities there for all the kids to do. There were bounce houses, a rock wall, carnival style games, music, booths, and a raffle. Gabriel had the most fun, though, in the troughs of ice that held bottled water - he couldn't get enough.

I love this picture. A little background: Gabriel tries to hug everyone, usually his cousins. This is fine, but kids, particularly the littler ones, don't seem to warm to the idea very quickly - if at all. High fives and knuckles are usually a good substitute. While waiting in line for a bounce house, we met Brianna. She and her mommy were wearing cute "Brianna's Bunch" team shirts with her darling picture on it. She wanted to hug Gabriel, so I put him down and they hugged to their hearts content! Gabriel had found his "hug match". After the hug-fest they went in to high fives and knuckles!

This is us with Gina, the president of Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona. She was one of our first visitors at the hospital after Gabriel was born that came with a smile on her face and congratulations. It was such an emotional time for us and I will forever be grateful to her for taking time to come share her experience and love with a couple of strangers. Although I didn't fully understand at the time, she gave me my first glimpse into seeing that there were so many positive and good days ahead for our family.

they make me happy

So, I'm a whole week into the blogging thing, and I've decided to change the name. I really never did want our name in the title, but lacking any clever ideas and wanting to get started I just threw it on there.

When my children are babies, I sing "You are my Sunshine" to them - and I still do. Partly because I remember this song from my childhood and partly because I don't know many other songs (outside of primary songs anyway).

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I had no idea before we started our family how much I would LOVE these little people. I was even a little bit nervous that maybe I might not be cut out for the whole mothering bit. Even with all the challenges that come with being a mother, though, I wouldn't change a thing.

So, since I'm blogging about our family, and they ARE my sunshine, I'll stick with that - for at least a week. And we live in the hot Arizona sun, which gives it a secondary meaning!